Wanting, Waiting, Anticipating! When will the suspense end!

 O.K. So, Karl & I are wanting to buy a house. First of the year we decided to kinda check out the neighborhoods we liked & realtor.com & other sites as well. Then mid Feb we went to some of those home builder places. started looking at Doublewides first thinking it's an OK temp solution for our 5 yr plan. then saw some pretty nice Modular homes, 2 stories, roomy, built well & a good price. we gave a place $8500 (they said we needed to put some money down to get a contract & order a house) filled out our mortgage app, etc. we were EXCITED! but week after week went by, excuse after excuse with this company & then once they heard back from the bank saying we qualified for almost double what we originally wanted to spend, suddenly every home we wanted would be in that price range once you added all the stuff needed to prep a lot ,etc. By the end of august we still Had NOTHING in writing after asking MANY times for something. No lock on the "one house" we would get, not even a LOT to put it on!!! They had our money for 2 1/2 months & we were no closer to having a house than before and we had said since day 1 the reason we would go modular is because they got built faster, met our wants & needs, & we could be moved in by June (when our lease was up) . We asked for our money back, they still tried to sell us a place but we were tired, it was now the first week of May and we were NOT stupid enough to believe that we would be in a house with lot, & mortgage closing in the next 4-6 weeks! Thankfully we got our money back. We paid off a car, paid off some bills & called a different mortgage person we had spoken with the month before on our own when everything with this company seemed to be going downhill.
   New mortgage person is AWESOME! Her name is Cindy & she works with mostly VA mortgages, checked our credit, told us what we could qualify for based on income, debt, etc. Now mind you we cant actually get approved for a specific house till we have a specific house but we know where we stand. Thing is everything has to stay the same with credit scores, debt, income, etc till then. So tell me WHY, now that we are seriously wanting a house random people have been pulling inquiries on Karls credit every other week (just found out the last builder pulled all 3 credit reports day before we met with him & he LIED to our face & said he didn't do it) uummmnnn, It was Your company!!! Also, suddenly these bills are popping up on his credit. Last week a medical bill our insurance never paid 3 YEARS ago for likr $1700! they never notified us. But a collection agency JUST listed it under his credit. He called them , called the insurance, the insurance says it will be paid within the next week, the collection agency says they will NOT remove it from his credit, they will mark it "paid" . AAAGGHHH!!! that dropped his score like 20 points!!! and that just makes it look like we paid it 3 years late NOT like insurance & hospital messed up, looks like its OUR fault! Yesterday, something else showed up for like $900!!!! We have NO idea what this is for, also AT & T decided a year after I cancelled my service ( 2 1 2/ years AFTER my contract EXPIRED) to charge me over $1000 in collections!!! WTF!!! Why is all this happening you may wonder????
   Well, when we first met with the first place back in Feb they signed us up for a WHOPPING $500 to a credit repair service that will "fix your credit & boost your score in 60 days or less"!!! Bull****!!!!! Yeah 60 days later Karl's credit that just barely met the qualifications has DROPPED like 50 points with all these inquiries, new collections, etc. Also, after 20 calls & messages & reaching the owner @ HOME over the weekend, he finally tells us the process is 6 months or more to START seeing results, that it typically goes down before it goes up. They cannot guarantee it will go up, etc, etc.
  Where does that leave us, well, SCREWED I would say. Now if his credit score doesn't go back up we will no longer qualify for a VA loan, we will have to get some "high risk" mortgage @ a horrible rate of interest i'm sure IF they give us one at all!!! PLUS we will have to  put at least 5 - 10% down, pay all our closing costs (house we were looking at if we went with their VA mortgage they would pay $3000 in closing costs & we would pay nothing down!) We do have a TINY bit of time I suppose. The new place we found & signed a contract for (and put NON-REFUNDABLE  money down) wont be ready till End of September. So we need to have our mortgage in place 60 days prior (end of July?) I am sooo scared!!!! Part of me want to just fork over the $500 apply with the crappier mortgage place with the crappy terms & just find out within the next 3 weeks that we have that at the least! BUT, why throw away that money with a mortgage we REALLY don't want, and hopefully in the next 45 days the credit *MIGHT* get at least good enough to reach the MINIMUM VA qualification. HOPEFULLY we can find out what the HECK is going on, NO more people will add stuff to our credit, the collections will at least be marked PAID & HOPEFULLY we have REALLY lenient underwriters who take pity on us & see that the mortgage we are applying for will be LESS than the rent we pay now! We have managed to pay our bills, rent, etc, for the past year & giving us this home will be BETTER for our family financially, as well as better area, our own home, bigger space, etc.
   Just so scared! waiting on all the Maybe's, and possibly, I really would just like to KNOW for sure! We have not had a SINGLE thing removed from Karls credit and it just sucks because the stuff we wanted gone was bills we paid off 2-3 years ago that got some late payments & suck when he first got out of the military & we were unemployed, we moved cross country, and still were waiting on hearing from the VA on his disability pay. it was a few months of REALLY hard times, we got thru it, paid stuff off but not without getting some bills in collections & LOTS of them with late fee's. they said that they could ask about having those removed  & if so his credit could go up quite a bit, instead it's gone down. It even DROPPED almost 20 points (17) because we PAID OFF OUR CAR 2 YEARS EARLY!!! Who the heck penalizes you for paying off stuff EARLY!!!
     This is our DREAM home, I KNOW logically at this point there is NOTHING I can do except wait, and then in a few weeks make a decision about the mortgage, credit, etc. I just feel SICK! Waiting is NOT my strong suit, stress is not good for the pregnancy. This should be the happiest time for us, but every day we are praying nothing else bad shows up on the credit. We pray that things start to turn around because of that STUPID number rating system that in NO way reflects who we are as people! We ARE responsible, we DO pay our bills! We are parents with kids, who have been struggling like everyone else & are at a point where we need to just get our house. We are having BABY # 5 & there is NO WAY we can possibly afford to RENT a place big enough for our family size and we already pay almost $1400 a month rent for a 3 bedroom apartment! Plus we have pets, Moving is a must! I want to be out of here in June, BUT since we wont know "mortgage wise" till July Karl want's to stay. IF we renew for 3 months they ADD $100 a month to our rent! PLUS, the baby will be born by then & IF the mortgage falls thru, we may lose our money and STILL have to move at the end of those 3 months :-( I will be 1 month postpartum. I just want to Know NOW, where we stand & that way I can better know where we can go from there. How on EARTH do people deal with such stress & how do you deal with the unknown???
   Yes, I know this has NOTHING to do with baking but I just needed to say this & I have no one here to tell this to :-( I have a few friends but no one "close" right now. no one who comes over for coffee, or to hang out with. No one to go shopping with & complain about stuff to. Just my hubby & why stress him out more? I'm suppose to be the one who comforts him :-) It feels good to let it out. I guess I just needed to say this "out  loud" LOL. Now to count pennies, until we find out our next move.

Took a Break ~ Now I'm back!

Well, it's been forever since I have posted & so much has happened! I was swamped working at the school everyday! 100's, of cookies,rolls, bread, brownies, cake, etc. I was always exhausted. later I find out I'm Pregnant! Dont remember If I posted this earlier in the blog but we recently miscarried ~that pregnancy was a surprise too but a welcome one! after we lost the baby I went to the Dr & was told that I have Polycyctic Ovarian Syndrom because I had all these cysts in my overies, I had gained weight, my insulin was all wonky, and I had "facial hair" (uugghh!!!) all Textbook signs. well, he started me on metformin, and the pill to get my cycle regular. then my grandmom got cancer ( she's in remission now). I went up there to see her and finished my pills while up there. came back home, life happened & just never got around to getting my refills. So, I guess it wasn't that much of a surprise that I got preggers again.
   I was terrified to say the least that I would lose this baby as well. Every day I looked for the signs, every cramp made my heart skip a beat, every bathroom visit I was sure I would find blood, when we made it past the first trimester I was so happy. When I hit the 20 week mark I started letting myself enjoy being pregnant, finally! I had to stop working though, guess my pregnancy has made my immune system, nearly non-existant because I have been sick with something since last november. Every time one of my 4 kids gets sick, so did I. If someone at school was sick, so was I. Everything got me sick. I also, was working at Liberty Tax this tax season. Something I actually enjoy doing ALMOST as much as baking. Well, there is a week and a half left till tax seasons over, I have been working there my 1 day (4 hrs) a week, just to get out of the house & have a chance to socialize. It's been nice.
  Obviously, my home baking has been put on the side with the rest of life taking over my plate. Lukas's 5th b-day is this weekend & usually by now I would have made the cake itself so that I can start decorationg it on thursday & finish it by friday ~ He wants another spongebob, and that takes a LOT of freehand detail.  Well, I'm sick so, I cant bake till I'm better. Been feeling this way since sunday, and if I don't feel better by tomorrow I might have to do the unthinkable ....."Store Bought Cake" LOL!  Anyway's, if they have any kind of spongebob stuff (usually they throw some plastic toys on top & call it a day) Lukas will be happy. Karl is sick too, so I can't get him to bake the cake.
   Now back to the present, I would like to get back into the kitchen again.  Everytime I so much as think it though I get to feeling horrible. I really have been sick like constantly. I think I am only better the days I have Dr. Appt's to discuss how sick I'm feeling,lol! The irony of it all. I have been going thru my head things I would like to cook, recipes I haven't made in a while for dinner, baking new things , Idea's I get from our beautiful world wide web as well as books & magazines & such. Every time I think I'm gonna make something wonderful I feel terrible. If I do start feeling better soon, my first order of business is either half moons & whoopie pies, or peanut butter flavored cupcakes, with bananna pudding inside & chocolate on top. or maybe chocolate cupcakes, bannana pudding, & peanut butter buttercream frosting on top. I wan't to make something I can pass out to Lukas's class next week. Well, enough of my crazy life drama, time to get back to posting about yummy sweets & snacks, & things that make you go, YUM! I will  post again soon, especially since, I am now a stay at home mom again,so happy!  :-) I actually miss it so much! I'll post about how THAT feels next time.

Lov lots, Melissa                                                    

Mock Hostess Cupcakes & Sponge Candy

Well, the kids are home and we had a full weekend. Then I had a food safety class (health dept) om mon & tues & took a test to get my health certificate (yeah!). Went to my flower class and realized rosebuds look like crap when I make them but appleblossoms & primroses are just too cute for words, and super easy! Came home from there & the kids & I made some chocolate cupcakes, then we filled the centers with buttercream filling, and topped them with a chocolate ganach type of topping (kinda fudgy tasting though) but, it did still get that nice harder top so we could use some royal icing & draw the trademark hostess swirly's on top. The loved it. Lukas especially loved dipping them in chocolate. Karl says they are yummy. My only concern is my cakes seemed almost too light and airy (hostess is more of a dense chocolate cake) so it made the filling and chocolate seem like it was in a chocolate air cupcake. karl says i'm too critical and the kids agreeded they were perfect, lol. Who complains about a light fluffy cake but me,lol!
   Anyways, on to the next item on the list, Sponge candy (aka, seafoam ) depends on where you are from this is basically s super airy light candy that practically dissolves in your mouth and tastes best when covered in yummy chocolate. After reviewing my recipe & comparing it to others I found courtesy of google, I took the advice of others and boiled my mixture in a pot much larger than I thought I would need (thankfully because it did foam almost to the top) but since everyones measurements seemed accurate about the size pan to cool in it (8x8) i decided to use a 9x9 just in case (next time i need a 9x13 at least!) well, it went too far over the pan started to come out the top and in other spots it seems to have sunk in. I will know how that affects the taste in a while I am waiting on it to finish cooling enough to break it apart & dip into chocolate. I will advise this, use a DEEP pan. I barely covered an inch off the bottom of my pan with my ingredients & it was  abt 12" high and after I added the baking soda it was to the top & thats when I decided to pour it into my pan to cool (for fear if I let it sit in the pot another min it would most assuredly boil over) . Also, since so many people's biggest complaint (not cooking related) was removing it from the pan, I lightly greased a silicone pan, hopefully this will be a success since it's so pliable I can hopefully just "pop out" my candy without having to scrape it off the side of a pan or peel off aluminum or wax paper from its creases.  the trick to this candy is definatly waiting till it hits the "crack" stage (about 300 degrees) depending on humidity, your actual boilning temp , etc. I do feel I was absolutly sucessful  (since I tasted it before i started typing this) I had some left in my pot and I have been nibbling what got left on the wisk & its just perfect!!!! Karl tasted it as well & I think adding the vanilla extract gave it just a little something extra to hide the vinager & soda tastes. oh i also used apple cidar vinager instead of just white vinager (recommended from a friend who shared her recipe & made this before). I also have a version I want to try that uses maple syrup that sounds yummy and i bet would be delish dipped in that orange chocolate.
    I have decided I want to try making some candied fruits for the heck of it. they are yummy to munch on, look great on cakes & stuff, & what doest taste great dipped in chocolate. I figure I can expand on the dipped fruits instead of just cherries & strawberries, i can also have an assortment of orange & grapefruit, lemon, etc. candied (sugared) & dipped in chocolate. that and the sponge candy. I want a nice variety for the fair i'm doing in october so I can see what there is a demand for. also the candied fruits is perfect for the fall. to go with the pies & such. I like to bake with the seasons so soon it will be all about the pies & turnovers :-) I gotta say having a well stocked pantry is pretty awesome. I think of something, find a recipe, or have an idea and I can just open my cabinets, fridge, etc & make it! Gotta love a supportive husband. There have been other things I have wanted to try before and his support was anywhere between half-hearted to non existant, but I guess tell a man you want to cooK & he will be sure you have what you need to accomplish that, LOL! He did mention that i could always go to culinary school and cook "actual" food, lol. I told him that was just no fun. Its all about the sweets for me!

P.S. My dad is sending me his cheese strudle recipe (super yum!) i will tell you all how it turns out for me. I remember being a kid & helping him roll out the pastry with a rolling pin & he would get it soo thin and soo big it would roll out the length of our dining table (sat 8 people) about 6 ft long , and just layer it with the cream cheese mixture, then the butter mix, layer by layer till it was just a long thick pastry that looked about as big as a loaf of bread, but when it baked up & came out of the oven it was heaven!! Pure bliss that just melted in oyur mouth, so light, airy, just the perfet amount of everything!!!! It took all day to make, but I really cant say enough about how heavenly delish it was. well, the kids are at the pool with Karl so I'm gonna finish cleaning up & take a nap! Have a sweet day!!!

Advertures in Baking Continue......

OOOHHHHH, I am sooo excited!!!! I can't wait to share!!! So, I went to the mall to drop off some paperwork to dear hubby while he was at work & saw a little coffee shop in there that sells pastries, so of course, being me I stopped by. Well, I looked at his yummy snacks & noticed he had black & whites (AKA half moon's). Well, I totally fell in love with them back in NY. they are like cupcake cookies? sort of  cupcake version of a muffin top. soft, yummy delish!!! I can never get the consistancy right and they are too runny and I always wondered if maybe they used a special baking tray for them or something. Well, I got to talking with the guy who own's the place and we talked about the cookies, & new york, & my latest baking obsession and he GAVE ME HIS RECIPE!!!!!!  I was floored when he offered it to me. he told me how he made them, the little "extra" secret ingredient he used and the importance of real butter & removing them immediatly to cool so they dont overcook. He was sooo nice we chatted for a while and it ends up karl found me there,lol. anyways, I cant make them till we get thru all these cupcake so it might be a week or 2 since I have to make a cake as well for class. I am going to be working on the cherries today though. Since they take a good week or 2 to get to "optimum delish-ness" I can surely work on those today, also since I am going to be making chocolate to dip them in I am gonna make "extra" so I have enough to cover a batch of sponge candy. So, plan of action for today, clean my room, make sponge candy, while its cooling make fondant for cherries & wrap cherries, let them cool & then make the chocolate & cover the cherries first , then break up the candy & dip in chocolate. all the candy & chocolate making is gonna take a few hours easily so the cleaning the room is gonna be now and i'll leave the candy making for later after the kids are quieting down & getting ready for bed. I have been up till 2-3 am on average lately, god help me I dont know why! but it's just quiet and peaceful in the house, no one is up and around and it's my relax time. I really enjoy it. Ohhh, did I mention I have some cute chocolate molds so I can make some other cute things for my cookies, cupcakes, etc. I will post pics off all the creations next week after I have it all done & decorated. this weekend is family time!!! I get to pick up the boys at raleigh saturday morning, then we r gonna make some spinach lasagna for dinner, and just catch up on the summer. hit the pool of couse & just enjoy each others company :-)

More Cupcakes!

  So, I tried this recipe today for a vanilla buttercream cake (circa 1950's) and since it was for a 2 layer 8" cake I decided to make it 1 1/2 times the amount so i could make a good 3 layer 9" cake and a few cupcakes. Well, my 9" pans are gone just have 1. decided I did not want to bake 1 layer at a time so another set of cupcakes for us,lol. used my 2 trays of minis (total 48) and a tray of regular sized (another 12) and it was just perfect! how on earth we will eat 60 cupcakes is beyond me! Luckilly I will be working in the school soon so I will have lots of people to to give my samples to. I dont know what the regs are about selling home baked goods from your home before I get my health inspection. I was informed I wont actually get a certificate, they just inspect me and tell me what I need. I need to send then my water bill though (oops, it said that in the application). I guess people do it all the time, thats why its one of the things you can do from home (it's considered low risk food). 
   O.K. back to the cupcakes. I gave adrianna and lukas half the big ones and about 12 of the small ones to decorate. they had fun with that but they used the first batch of buttercream , so basically (really melty) time for second batch (Karl hates the buttercream with the shortning in it) so again I used a half pound of unsalted butter, a half pound of cream cheese, my tupperware container of powdered sugar (about 4 cups?) and about another pound after that (maybe another 4 cups?) sifted the heck out of it. used almond & vanilla extract, a pinch of salt, about 1 1/2 tbsp of meringue powder, then a few tbsp of milk, whipped it for abut 12 min at low, till it was fluffy & formed some semi stiff peaks. I wasnt going for royal icing stiff but i definatly wanted it firmer than melty,lol. OMG, it was perfect!!!! noe my measurements for the sugar & milk is not exact, that was just a little more of this & a little more of that till it looked like what i wanted. but super yummy. Now I did stillhave some of the buttercream (with the shortening) left over from the weekend so i did make a few cupcakes with that one. it was firm, smooth, and just the perfect consistancy. I see why they reccommend it for class , so much easier to use. im gonna work on that one with some extracts and see how i can get the flavor i want so i can use it more often.
   Now the card I had the cake mix recipe on had a buttercream recipe where I melt the sugar but I will takle that recipe sometime next week when I can dig my candy thermometer out of the "baking box". Did I mention we just moved here last month so I still have a ton of boxes and stuff everywhere. Besides, I have been putting off making my cherries and they need to sit in the fridge for at least a week (preferable 2) for the "fondant"  to turn into a yummy cordial type filling. So tomorrow I'm back to the store for more powdered sugar, I will proabably find something else I dont need but want them.
  Well I decorated a few of the mini's with my full size flowers  which reminds me (buy cake pans) lol. anyways i took some pics (will post in a few) of the cupcakes so you can see my practice flowers. I'll try to get a cake made this weekend and practice my floral placement, focal points, etc.  For anyone local that plans on coming over to dinner anytime soon or invites us over, I will be bringing cake, or cupcakes, or both. be prepared for the sugar!!!
  Off food, I went to the podiatrist today , got some cortizone shots (OUCH!!!) he gave me some orthodics & a night slint (boot looking thing) will see me back in 2 weeks & then every month after that. apparently I have none spurs in my heels as well as the underside of my foot. I have plantar facitis? (sorry if my spelling sucks, if you know me, it always does) Anyways, I have had the pain in my feet forever but this past winter in NY really made the pain pretty unbearable. after moving down south and getting some time at home I finally called a podiatrist, got in and after the x-rays my diagnosis. Well, he said I should feel some improvement in the next few weeks and in about 16 weeks he will reevaluate if this is working or if i have to go to "the next step" I said as long as it's not surgery then whatever's clever works for me. I HATE the idea of having surgery. When I had the miscarriage in june and they had to keep me in the hospital and told me they had to put me under (general anesthesia) UUGGHHH, I got scared. so anything that involves me getting put to sleep while i am possibly being cut open is just petrifing!!!! if I could stay awake while they did whatever they have to do then I dont think it would bother me as much.
     Sidenote, our friend Josh (my friend Kim's hubby) just got back from deployment overseas so YEAH!!!! It's always nice when they get back home safe & sound. Our other friends Chantelle & Bill just relocated back home. Bill was just medically retired from the marine corp (just like my own dear hubby) and they moved back home to the state of washington. I hope moving home works out better for them than it did for us, but since they go back like every chance they got, it's really almost like they never left. MISS YOU CHANTELLE!!!!!!!  Ok, so I wrote a book today instead of a update, this will make up for the days of silence in between.

Finally Following My Dream !!!

    So, Everyone who knows me knows my obsession with everything sweet. Desserts, chocolates, candies, etc. After using all of my friends as "test subjects" and my family & dear hubby as my harshest critiques I am finally doing what I love......Baking Professionally. Well, sort-of anyway. I have baked for free forever, now I have finally started taking classes on decorating & am actually getting paid to do what I love. I just became the baker for my sons midlle school, as well as started the process to get my health inspection & business licence (and tax id, etc) so I can run my own bakery from home!!!!! I want a storefront more than anything but untill I can get the $$$ I need to start small. Working from home hopefully I can make a little extra $$$ , and then I have something to show the bank when the time comes that I apply for a loan to get my own place. DId I mention making a business plan kinda SUCKS!!!!
    Since I absolutely love to shop I have having a blast shopping for all kinds of cool baking supplies, tools, and decorations. I ordered a few bakery boxes online and having a challenging time finding storage caddies and little shelves & such to keep my stuff accessible but neatly away in the kitchen (plus it has to match & look cute!) so, I have been happily busy.  I have a sanitation class (2 days) next week and got a working camera so I can take pictures of my creations.
   Karl & I made some awesome strawberries & cherries this past sunday & the kids & I had some cupcake fun on monday but I didn't get to take pics. Also learned how to make a few different flowers out of fondant & gum paste ( pansies are the WORST!) and getting pretty good at making roses with royal icing. The icing consistancy is the hardest though. First it was too soft, then too stiff, so my flowers were either wilty looking as they hardened or the petals started to crack if I made them too big. Well, they say practice makes perfect and I have been practicing like crazy :-)
  I'm also going to be making some sponge candy tomorrow. We fell in love with it back in new york, it's a buffalo thing. I figured if I can get it to break pretty even (maybe try cutting it with a bread knife or something & see how that works) I can dip it in chocolate & put a royal icing flower ( like little rosebuds or apple blossoms) on the top. as delish as the candy is, its all about presentation to me. It totally has to look super cute as well as be super yummy.  I made the hershey's cookie pie (with a few tweaks to make it my own) and as yummy as it is it just doesnt look as pretty. I am thinking of putting less chocolate chips in the pie & then making a chocolate ganash top so that I can maybe put some buttercream rosettes or something on top, make it look better. Now, my worry is that it is so utterly rich on it's own, the ganash & buttercream might just make it too sweet to eat (yes, that actually is possible,lol). Any suggestions???? Well, thats my weeekend project along with perfecting the royal icing in this humidity (but I have central air so I really dont think it's that humid indoors). 

   Looking forward to seeing your feedback, idea's suggestions, etc. I might not post daily but I will make a point of posting weekly with my creations and disasters!